I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
