My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
