may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
