You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
