She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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