My friends, they love my intelligence
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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