No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
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