Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
