1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
