U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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