i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Randomize
