Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
