She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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