i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
