great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
he fucked my hip out of place.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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