We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
