WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
