Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
