So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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