it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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