i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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