I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
