Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Even my vagina gasped.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Randomize