I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
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