you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
