remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Randomize
