I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
