his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
