I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
You have to summon your inner elephant
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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