I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
