I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
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