He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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