I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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