Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
