sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
