DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
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