We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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