I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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