$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
