Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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