Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I think weed is turning my hair brown
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
