Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
