garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
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