On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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