Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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