That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
