Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
