Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
you traded sex for a burrito?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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