so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
