What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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