so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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