Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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